Unconditional love, sass + asking for what you need | What I’ve learned from being a fur mama
Mila in her bougie new harness and leash.
This is a story about unconditional love, surprising soulmates, and remembering that it’s okay to ask for what you need.
I felt called to write you a little love letter today.
Maybe it’s because I’m feeling a bit nostalgic because my fur baby turns five today and the passing of time is hitting me. Or maybe it’s just the atmospheric pressure playing games with my emotions. Either way, I am so grateful for this little creature and all that she has taught and is teaching me.
Before Mila, I genuinely don’t think I understood what unconditional love meant. And I also realize that it’s borderline inappropriate to be having a conversation about my dog as if she were my child, but that’s partly what Mila feels like. She’s this wonderful mix of eternal child, soulmate and teacher and she has shifted my world in a way that I could never have imagined.
My reasons for getting a dog in this first place were hardly altruistic. We were just coming out the other side of lockdown and I recognized that I couldn’t spend another two months trapped inside the house. Since I was living in the city center at the time, the streets were very heavily patrolled and only those with dogs were allowed to leave the house multiple times per day.
But once I saw the photo of Mila online I knew she was the one. I don’t tend to make decisions easily or instantaneously, but she was a full-body yes the minute I saw her. Every day since then has had a focus on her wellbeing and happiness.
Taking care of Mila is something that brings me an immense amount of joy. This is partly because we are so aligned in so many ways. She loves running and being free. Nothing makes her happier than being off-leash in nature where she can roam and explore to her heart's content - like mother, like ‘dog’ter!
Mila taught me how to love beyond myself. How to care for another living being in a deep and unconditional way. How to show up for someone else, even when it’s not the first thing you want to do. And I am forever grateful for the lessons that she teaches me.
But it goes so far beyond just love. Mila is the sassiest little thing and she will always tell you exactly what’s on her mind. She snaps her teeth when she wants you to move a little faster or pay attention to her. She comes straight up to you to ask you to love her. It’s not a question of IF you will do it for her, it’s a matter of WHEN.
Animals are inherently instinctive and intuitive creatures and they are unapologetic about getting their needs met. This has been a valuable lesson (that, honestly, I often tend to forget) in how to show up in the world.
It is safe and necessary to ask that your needs be seen and met by those around you. It is okay to ask for support when you can’t do something on your own.
It’s okay to love unconditionally and it’s okay to ASK for the same love in return. It’s even okay to EXPECT it, as Mila does.
Having her has been the biggest gift of this lifetime so far. I love her more than I could ever manage to put into words. And I’m also keenly aware of how insane this might all sound to those who are not inherently ‘pet people’ or who have not had the immense joy of experiencing the kind of love that exists in this kind of bond. But Mila has opened me up and shown me what I am capable of in terms of love that, prior to having her, I didn’t even think was possible for me.
I wanted to share this story with you not only in celebration of my little furball but in the hopes that it touches you and encourages you to share your own love note with the person who needs it most from you right now.
So often in the world today we are limited to images, character counts and time limits. Our lives can sometimes be lived within the confines of what we see other people doing, having or experiencing and we can be afraid to share the simple things that make our hearts sing.
So maybe today, write that note.
Speak that love.
Ask for what you need.
Or just take a quiet moment to remember what love — real, wild, wordless love — feels like in your body.
And if you feel called to go deeper, give yourself some time to dive into these journal prompts:
Who or what has taught you how to love deeply?
Where in your life could you ask for your needs to be seen and met more unapologetically?
If you'd like to share your answers, I'd love to hear! Comment below and spread the love.
And if you're looking for additional support, journal prompts and a chance to go deeper with me, you can find me inside The Wild Free Well Space on Insight Timer!
